November 17, 2020

It occurred to me that I am mad at reality

Or rather, I am mad at my real—material—circumstances.

I\’m not sure what to make of it, but it\’s true.

Strange question. Maybe an obvious question.—

Do I have power over myself?

If I can exercise power over myself, then I am not powerless. 

That makes me feel better. But it sounds stoic. I don\’t like stoicism. Stoicism is problematic in that it can be life-denying and life-suppressing—self-imprisonment.

It makes more sense to say that myself is my source of power. I have the power to change things. So what if my accomplishments are ephemeral and relatively trivial?

Lastly, I have the power to transform my attitude. I don\’t have to remain beholden to despair—looking up at titans. I can take pride in my own excellences. I can take pride in myself.

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