October 15, 2020

I feel flat today. I have spent the day at the living room table with my computer, a pen, and grid paper for simple math. My brain is going extra slow. Yesterday was busy—heavy lifting at the gym, a hike, followed by a ride and an evening with a few friends that ran far too late. I woke up at 11am today; I don\’t remember the last time I slept in this late. Khan Academy has gone slowly today, with many trivial mistakes.

My vision is scabbed over with a gray film.
Streaks of red break through.

A voice says: Don\’t stare at the sun. 

Went to the barber and got a haircut on Tuesday. Had a long conversation with my barber. Covered much ground on a non-physical plane. Something was said about 3rd eyes being pried too far open.

\”Dark night of the soul,\” he said.

\”Black implies white,\” I said.

\”I needed to hear that,\” he said.

It is a quote by Alan Watts that I now find meaningless and trivial, I thought to myself sitting in the barber\’s chair with bits of hair caught in my mask tickling my nose.

Deepest metaphors sound like nonsense to reasonable persons: alchemy is nonsense, They say. They are not wrong.

Forgot to mention: everything makes music. —Any of it can be beautiful, but not much of it is beautiful; this is proof that the gods are amoral and they have their favorites. 

Beauty is a virtue. But any virtue may be paired with vice—that is, paired with the bad. 

Did Socrates ever say anything about The Bad Life? He had a lot of questions about the good life. I wonder if he ever used the phrase, \”the bad life.\”

Good is rare—the exception.

I realized that cleaning shares important things in common with resting: When you rest, you repair your body, and when you clean, you repair your environment.

If you rest or clean in the right way, it can be enjoyable. Alternatively, either can be stressful: rest can be stressful suspense, and cleaning can feel harmonious and valuable (still working on learning to enjoy the latter). 

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