June 15, 2020

It\’s just after 10am, and I have just finished eating a gold nugget sumo orange. Now I\’m going to open up a Reign sugar free Razzle Berry energy drink while I quietly think to myself about why the ridiculously expensive oranges are so much better than the normal priced ones.

This morning it took me 1.5 hours to write about 660 words. Actually, I wasn\’t even writing I was editing and transcribing at the same time, which I would rather just transcribe, but my mind won\’t just let me be. That is waaay too long. But my gods, I don\’t know how to make this go any quicker.
I am just now flashing back to yesterday when I was writing about being stuck in a low gear. I\’m there again, stuck in low gear. That means I can sit here and write this blog, right off the cuff; I can devour simple books; I can write and read reddit/news articles. But I can\’t do a steady, high-speed, high-gear, transcription for a long period of time like I wish I could.
Okay, fuck it. We\’re going back in. Siri, set a timer for one hour. 

Alright. 550 words. That is not enough. The caffeine is putting me on an uncomfortable edge. And I had too many distractions. I sent multiple texts and Instagram messages. Well, damn. It\’s lunch time now.

I think I am having trouble respecting my writing, namely the story that I\’m working on right now called Post Divergence. I started it on a whim because that\’s the only way I knew how to start. And it came together well enough; it\’s a proper story. But I wish I had planned better for it. It\’s going to require massive amounts of editing because of how the plot evolved. Crafting a story really takes a lot of love and care. 
I might be running low on love and care for this story right now. I regret that I just want to get it over with. Maybe that just means that I need to let it sit for a while. I was really pushing myself to finish it by the end of August because without a deadline projects can continue indefinitely, and it\’s better to have completed something in a half-cared-for manner than it would be to let it sit unfinished.
The voice says: Chip away as much as you rightly can, and do it regularly. Savor the entire elephant one bite at a time. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s